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Helping you move from surviving to thriving
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You’re a busy working woman in a high-demand career and mom of twins. You hold yourself up to high standards in EVERYTHING and being a twin mom is no different. You often feel you have to be perfect: the perfect mom, the perfect career woman, the perfect wife, and on and on. In all attempts to perfect your life, you find that you have left someone out…YOURSELF!
Every day, you go through your usual routine and find by the end of the day you are just simply worn out. You would love to meet the girls for happy hour but always tell yourself you don’t have enough time. You miss being able to sit for hours with a good book but these days you would end up falling asleep. You want to be able to have a little time for yourself without being interrupted or feeling guilty.
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I understand these feelings all too well because I have been there!
I’m a coach for twin moms who do a great job taking care of all their responsibilities but often forget about themselves. They know they need to make some time for self care but often have difficulty figuring out where to fit it into their daily life. I help them identify ways to “fill their empty cup” and how to incorporate their personal time into their every day routine.
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My Story
For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to be a doctor. As I started on that journey, my whole career path to becoming a physician was filled with the “understanding” that pursuing medicine meant medicine became your life. Having a family as a woman and as a doctor was often fraught with the challenges of trying to prove I was worthy of being there and willing to prioritize my work over my family. I was constantly trying to show up and be the best for everyone at all times…the best wife, the best mom, the best doctor, the best sister, the best daughter, the best friend. But it seemed, the more I tried the harder it got. I managed to make the time for everyone else but somehow forgot to include myself in the equation. Having two young kids and being solely responsible for pickup and dropoff was often not an easy task. And then in my 3rd year as a physician I found out I was pregnant, very unexpectedly.
I remember being at my first prenatal appointment, when they told me “there’s one and there’s two”. Most people would be happy to have one child on the way and ecstatic to find out they’re getting two for the price of one. But me? I cried ( I mean the ugly cry). I literally laid on that table and sobbed. Not because I was going to be carrying these two little miracles but because all I could think of was how am I going to manage TWO more kids when I’m barely making it with the two I have? I mean most days, I felt I was mediocre as a mom at best.
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[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.4.3″][et_pb_column _builder_version=”4.4.3″ type=”4_4″][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.3″ text_font=”Lato||||||||” text_font_size=”18px” text_line_height=”1.8em” link_font=”||||||||” ul_font=”||||||||” ol_font=”||||||||” quote_font=”||||||||” header_font=”||||||||” header_2_font=”Lato|700|||||||” header_2_font_size=”30px” header_2_font_size_phone=”22px” header_2_font_size_last_edited=”on|phone” header_2_letter_spacing=”1px” header_2_line_height=”1.5em” custom_padding=”||1px|||” animation_style=”slide” animation_direction=”bottom” animation_intensity_slide=”5%”]I managed to carry my girls for 38 weeks and 3 days. I knew that once I delivered things were going to change, but I was totally unprepared for how much they changed. I spent every waking moment caring for these babies. But it wasn’t like with my first two, having twins was freaking hard. One month after giving birth (literally to the day), I woke up in the middle of the night with the worst headache of my life. I literally felt like I was dying. I took medicine and it didn’t help. I called my doctor who gave me more medicine…it didn’t help. By the third day of experiencing excruciating pounding headaches, I had my husband drive me to the emergency room. As a physician, that was the last place that I wanted to be but at the time it was the only option I had. The headaches eventually lessened and finally went away with increasing my water intake, eating regularly, and sleeping when I could.
Then it was time for me to go back to work. I was driving my two older kids to school 45 minutes away, driving another 20 minutes to drop off my twins, and 15 minutes to work only to squeeze 8 hours of work into the 4 hours I had to get it all done before it was time to do it all again in reverse. Needless to say, I was miserable!. I loved my family but I dreaded every day. Family and friends noticed it too. In their own well meaning loving way they would say, “Why don’t you take a break?” “ Go do something for yourself!” And while I would have loved nothing else but to do just that, I had no idea HOW! I was breastfeeding and my twins never really took much to the bottle so that was always holding me back. They were eating ALL. THE. TIME. Then if I had any second to myself I was falling asleep from being SO EXHAUSTED. I was not fun to be around and I knew that I could not continue this way.
I finally realized I needed help. I was diagnosed with post-partum depression and sought counselling to help me work through it. I started linking up with other twin moms and realized that a lot of us have similar stories and struggles, yet most of us don’t really feel comfortable talking about them. It wasn’t until I shared my story that several other moms approached me to tell me how relieved they felt that they were not alone.
So often as women, and even more so as twin moms, we experience the all time task of trying to “balance” it all. Yet I believe there really is no true work/life balance in the way that we think all things become equal like the Goldilocks phenomenon (it’s just right). Rather I believe that we learn how to exist amongst the times when we have to spend more time on work because eventually the pendulum will swing to where we can spend more time on ourselves and our family, just most times it doesn’t happen all at one time.[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.4.3″][et_pb_row column_structure=”1_2,1_2″ use_custom_gutter=”on” gutter_width=”1″ make_equal=”on” padding_top_bottom_link_1=”false” padding_top_bottom_link_2=”false” padding_left_right_link_1=”true” padding_left_right_link_2=”true” module_class=” et_pb_row_fullwidth” _builder_version=”3.25″ width=”100%” width_tablet=”100%” width_phone=”” width_last_edited=”on|desktop” max_width=”100%” max_width_tablet=”100%” max_width_phone=”” max_width_last_edited=”on|desktop” custom_padding=”0px|0|0px|0|true|false” make_fullwidth=”on”][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ _builder_version=”3.25″ use_background_color_gradient=”on” background_color_gradient_start=”rgba(255,255,255,0)” background_color_gradient_end=”rgba(255,255,255,0.18)” custom_padding=”5%|6%|10%|6%” custom_padding_tablet=”” custom_padding_phone=”” custom_padding_last_edited=”on|tablet” padding_last_edited=”on|tablet” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.3″ text_font=”Lato||||||||” text_text_color=”#0a0002″ text_font_size=”18px” text_line_height=”1.8em” background_layout=”dark” max_width=”600px” custom_padding=”||0px|||” animation_style=”slide” animation_direction=”bottom” animation_intensity_slide=”5%” text_font_size_tablet=”” text_font_size_phone=”” text_font_size_last_edited=”on|tablet”]
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I finally started to figure it all out!
Things started changing for me. I realized that spending hours driving back and forth every day was not working AND finally made the effort to do something about it. I got a new job (even though it required an interstate move) and actually started doing things again…things for myself that I always put off because I JUST DIDN’T HAVE TIME. My coaches and counselor helped me to see that I had to MAKE the time because I NEEDED THAT TIME! They were right. Once I started working out again, I was more focused and felt better throughout my whole day. I wanted to look and dress better. I started going to the hair and nail salon. I was not feeling guilty for telling my husband “I need some time for me” even though it took years for me to get there, the difference I felt was totally worth it.
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After many conversations with other twin moms about similar challenges, especially those in high-demand careers, I realized I didn’t go through the struggles just to see if I could make it through. Everything I experienced was for me to be able to help other twin moms navigate their experience.
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I would love to connect with you! If you want to learn more about how I can help you shift to start making yourself a priority, please check out Work With Me
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Don’t Wait Any Longer. Start ThrivingToday!
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